Playing Bridge with Ghosts

Today was a regular sea day.  We are somewhere between Fiji and New Caledonia.  Normally I don’t write about sea days as there is nothing unusual happening.  However, this day continued with some unusual activities.

I was sitting out on the pool deck, enjoying the glorious weather, when the medical team raced by with a wheelchair.  One of our bridge players fell down in the Colonade dining room and hurt her shoulder.  I hear that she is OK.  Another lady that I know from the iPad classes, fell out of bed and hit her head on the wall next to the bed on the way down to the floor!  Is this ship jinxed??? 

Michael and I had to play bridge together today to fill out a table.  I am very rusty since I have not played very much since boarding the ship.  We were doing OK, not great, but OK when it was our turn to move to the table where Jack died.  I was not giving it a great deal of thought; I was trying to concentrate on the bridge.  I started getting tightness in my chest, a rapid heartbeat, and my breathing increased.  I then looked at Michael, who was sitting in the seat that Jack sat in, and I just lost it.  I started to cry and could not stop.  I saw Michael sitting in that chair and wanted him to get out of it.  He took me outside, held me while I cried.  I got myself under control and returned to the game, but my concentration was shot.  I have shed more tears than anyone else.  It was like there was a ghost at that table.  I have tried to get the details out of my mind, but it is still there.  I think my reaction is irrational, but then again, I was there and witnessed everything up close and personal.  Maybe this is PTSD.  Other players do not want to play at that table.  I am thinking we should move it somewhere else, but there is really no room to do that.  I am hopeful that the next segment, with some people leaving and new people coming aboard, will bring relief.

Along with three other people, I talked to Jennifer and her daughter.  They are doing very well and enjoying their stay on Fiji.  They fly home on Monday.